Ever have those moments when you suddenly stop and realize just what you're doing? I've had those moments before, like when I had dropped out of college and preparing to move 3 hours away, or when D and I first started dating and I realized I was in an actual relationship. I've had another one of those moments recently, and it helped remind me to appreciate what I have acquired with all the work I put into the last few years.
With the wedding little more than a month away and the baby starting to regularly wiggle and kick, I had to stop a moment to let the two facts sink in. It's like getting 2 of my little girl fantasies at the same time! I get to marry a man who loves and respects me (and who I love and respect back), and I get to experience pregnancy and have a baby of my very own! It's still surreal and probably will be for a while yet. As recent as 3 years ago, I lamented my deplorable mostly nonexistant dating history and wondered if I'd be lucky enough to find someone who would want to spend the rest of their life with me. Yet suddenly, just as I made the decision to live my life for myself and not based on the ideal set by family and friends, everything started working out perfectly.
There was this guy who was interested in me, yet we were far enough away from each other that I couldn't throw myself too quickly into it like I did with my last "relationship". He happened to have a place nearby and well established when all hell broke lose and I could stay in my apartment anymore. We've had nearly 2 years of living together to get the chance to learn each other's nuances. Despite pestering from both families, we had the chance to do some growing up without feeling pressured into getting married. Then, not 3 months after we reached the point where we were both ready to get married and start a family, we learn that we get to welcome a baby into our lives long enough after the already planned wedding to really establish ourselves as a couple first.
I had to just stop and realize this wasn't some romance novel. This was my life! And it all started with me making the decision to take back ownership over it. It's a dream come true for anyone, moreso for the person I used to be. There'll be some new challenges ahead I've probably never even dreamed of. But for right now, life is good.
Blog Update: I apologize for not updating regularly as was my plan. I have to be in a certain mood apparantly to have the patience for posting. Until October 8, I am now officially shifting my attention to the wedding and will probably be posting more about that. There will still be some important baby posts, such as the post coming up soon about the gender. But if you're here for baby posts, you should check back after October as I blog about baby showers, setting up the nursery, and all the joys of pregnancy symptoms. Thanks for reading my blog! ^_^
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