Defining "Failure"

29 weeks 1 day

Today, I got the chance to talk to one of the doctors about my birth plan.  I'm wanting to go as natural as I can with little intervention unless there's something wrong.  My husband laughed at how precise my birth plan was, but being on the pregnancy forums at thebump.com really opened my eyes to just what all can happen during birth.

For the most part, the doctor agreed with a lot of what I put down.  He didn't agree with my wish to not have an IV, but he took the time to explain that during labor that the stomach is being squeezed too and wouldn't be able to process fluids properly.  I know that getting IV fluids can slow down labor, but that is actually a legit reason to consider getting one eventually.  I'll probably end up drinking water while I'm laboring at home and have them check to see if I'm dehydrated when I get admitted.

Something he said really stuck with me though.  He felt it important that I keep an open mind and not consider myself a failure if we don't get to stick exactly with the birth plan.  It could have just come from what he's been taught to say to talk mothers into getting c-sections, but there's something I can still take from it.  We're going to fight tooth and nail to not get a c-section unless I need it, but I do need to be ready for the possibility.  It is my body, but during labor there's little I can do as to what it's doing.  It isn't my fault if baby goes into distress nor if my muscles just give up after hours of pushing.  I'm going to be doing everything mentally and physically that I can to have the birth that will be best for me and the baby.  But I need to remember that having to deviate from this plan doesn't make me a failure as a mother.

At the end of the day, the hospital is there to do everything they can to put a healthy baby in our arms.  Yeah, getting a c-section would suck, and I'd probably need to have a private moment to properly mourn the loss of my natural birth ideal.  But I need to remember that it doesn't make me a failure.  The doctor's words need to bounce around in my head for a while for me to really internalize it.  This is important enough to take the effort to internalize.