One Week

Prestressing about the wedding has so far actually proven effective.  I'm one week out, and I can't really say I have a major concern anymore.  The tickets are in my hands, the cake fiasco has seemingly concluded, and the rehearsal may not end up such a waste of time anymore.  My biggest concern is that people won't get the memo about when to get their tickets from us, but that's mainly their problem, not ours.  I've even had time to contact all my banks/credit cards about the name change and figure out what I will need to do after the wedding.

I'm finally getting some time to let the truth sink in.  I'm getting married!  The autumn weather somehow reminded me of my awkward school days when I didn't want to talk to anybody.  Having a moment of getting into that mood really reminded me of just how much my life has been enriched since then.  It's of course due to the series of people who have come and gone, but I had to give myself some credit too.  Somewhere in there I made the decision that I wanted to be happier and have more for myself.  And now at 24 I get to marry someone who truly cares for me, and I have the ability to care for him back.  Those who know where I've come from can attest to how much of an accomplishment that is for me.

Sure, it's the end of a life.  I have someone else I have to consider in my decision making for the rest of my life, and I can no longer consider other men as dating possibilities.  But I also get the security of someone else there with me no matter what through the tough times.  And dating always felt like a daunting task anyway, so a part of me is relieved that I'm now excused from that.  It's gonna be harder to just go out on a whim with a family to consider, and my spending splurges no longer dent just my pocketbook.  But I get to help and watch this child grow and learn from day 1, and we have more opportunities as a couple to explore financial opportunities like owning a home.

I'm nervous about the wedding itself, but I'm looking forward to the marriage.